Forgiving Ignorance

I had a revelation the other night. I went to a free concert in the park in Pasadena. The performer was an Asian, folk singer from Austin, TX. At one point between songs she was talking to entertain the audience and used the word "y'all" in reference to the audience. One of the guys in the audience began to scream "y'all" repeatedly in a teasing and demeaning way. I felt this anger well up inside of me.

I've had this happen to me many times. My initial response it to get really angry at that guy and then my mind wonders to all the Californians that have done that to me and I want to get angry at all Californians. (As progressive and liberal as Californias are I don't understand why saying y'all is such big deal. It's expresses gender equality better than "you guys". ) Then my mind shifted to all the stares I got in Mexico and the anger that created (now that I think about it, maybe they were just wondering who the new neighbor was).

I began to pray and ask God how to have a healthy response to this comment and those stares. There are some common threads that run through these experiences: one is being misunderstood by others and two is ignorance. Then I remembered what the black student that went to Cairo said how we have to forgive, but I realized in that moment that what I'm forgiving is ignorance. Jesus understood forgiving ignorance. Some of his last words on the cross were "Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do." Now that is amazing grace! I'm glad that at least Jesus understands!

Media...why don't we do something?

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When do I get off?

Each time I've gone out of country to large cities and have experienced the public transportation there, I have to remember how to know when to get off the bus, jeepney, or micro. It is actually a bit of a challenge to find a unique landmark that let's you know this is your stop. The first time, I picked a big yellow bank because I thought it was rare. Then I saw many big, yellow banks and my landmark was a failure. It's not like in the states where they call out the street name or something. You just have to know. Now that was a fun challenge when it was dark, raining, the windows were fogged up, I was sitting in a row seat, I was sitting on the opposite side of when I initially went, and there were people standing in the aisle blocking my view to the other side. Thankfully, God was with me and I remembered the timing and enough people got off for me to see across the aisle to see the landmark my co-staff had suggested. I got a little wet and muddy due to getting off a little too early, but it could have been worse.

Windy, Dusty

When I was teaching English one day, we were reviewing the seasons (summer, winter, spring, and fall) and I asked them for the weather conditions in each one. They said windy and dusty for all of them. And that is what I experienced being there. I've never experienced so much dust and mud before. I don't believe God intended for people to live on a lake bed where you can't grow anything like trees, flowers, or grass. Yeah, we aren't doing such a great job of having dominion over the earth.

What you starin' at?

As a young kid I went to a majority black school. There were so many times that people snapped at me and said "What you starin' at?" I remember that it bothered me that they got such an attitude and yelled at me. Sometimes I'd say "You!" with some attitude in my defense. Then they'd say "You want me to do something about it?" And I'd hold my head down and whisper, "No.". I never wanted to fight or get in trouble. I honestly think that some of the black kids would dump all the negative experiences that they or their family had with whites on me.

Anyway, walking down the street in Mexico I've gotten many stares. They don't come off as very positive or inviting. I've heard that reaction I used to get as a child in my head "What you starin' at?" But this time it was me saying it. I've felt defensive and upset. On the one hand, I think I understand better the black students responses. I'm sure they got a lot of stares and yes, it's quite unsettling and annoying. On the other hand, I begin to get upset because I consistently feel misunderstood in life. I feel like I get boxed in a lot and I feel like people don't recognize the ethnic and cultural experiences I've had all my life that don't fit in the boxes that are put on "white" people. I'm know I'm guilty of doing the same to others at various points. It reminds me to check myself and my assumptions about people.

After debreifing with some other students that had more extreme experiences in Cairo, Egypt, the comment that stuck out to me the most is that we have to continually forgive and have mercy on others. It's usually ignorance and conditioning that creates those responses.

My Personal Mission Statement

When I was in Mexico City, the team leader for Servant Partners had us write a personal mission statement. It may evolve over time, but this is what I have for now. I'm not sure if it's grammatically correct:

To usher in Shalom efficiently and expediently in my life, family, community, city, nation, and world through being a bridge, using my voice, confronting powers, empowering others with and using my life experiences, ethnic upbringing, power, natural abilities, spiritual gifts, lengual abilities, knowledge, privilege, resources, and connections to benefit, love, serve, and uplift "the least of these", fighting injustice, complacency, apathy, silence, and settling, being an agent of change in society, not limiting myself nor God, periodically reminding myself of those lesser and presenting myself before the Lord open to change and redirection, believing God (with the help of people) can change people, powers, and systems, not limiting myself to any geographical setting, not being afraid to take risks, obeying God, living simply, and upholding Kingdom values in my life, being a vessel and bearer of truth, and above all else seeking to love the Lord, my God, with all my heart, soul, strength, and might and love my neighbor as myself.

Slum Communities...I can have a role

It was cool to realize more and more what I have to offer slum communities after going to Mexico City for six weeks. First of all, being American and choosing to be there lets the people know they have value and are cared for, that I would give up my comfort to be there with them. I never thought speaking English could be so impactful, but the people were so eager to learn correct pronunciation and grammar. The English they get in school is low quality. I guess it makes sense, being able to speak English means access to better jobs. Now I realize what a privilege it is. Being able to connect with different ages and cultures. Because of this people will trust me and choose to listen to what I can offer about God and life. And mediating conflict. If this didn't happen, our kids club could have been a disaster. It was cool to see that God can use me in a different cultural context and that I have a lot to offer (there was more I realized than mentioned here). And I could see what a difference the church and organization I worked with was making in peoples lives as the people realized their value and God's love for them and their community.