Articulation

The other night I made my rounds picking up the high school girls for bible study. One of the girls brother, Andy, was with her and it was going to be too difficult to coordinate getting him to the guys bible study, so I said it was fine if he came with us this week, but that he should work it out to go with the guys the next week.

I was going to have to lead this bible study by myself because the other two leaders had other obligations. I was tired and had felt sick earlier on in the day. It started with Andy trying to sit next to the other girls. Then he made a comment about how he would take one of the girls home and spend the night with her. I just gave him a look and shook my head. Finally, he leaned forward and rubbed one of the girls arms and said 'Hey Baby!" That was it I couldn't take it anymore. So I snapped at him and said something to the effect of "If you don't stop we're not going to let you come with us ever again" in an angry tone. He said "It was just a joke." and I said "Well, it's not funny!" in a pretty harsh tone. I'm not one to typically act out of anger or to lay down a rule and not explain it, but in that moment I did not know how to articulate why this was so important to me. There wasn't much talking in the car after that. I suddenly felt empathy for parents who try to discipline their kids in the best way they know how. But I never liked it when people had rules and didn't explain them.

When we got to my apartment, Andy asked "You don't like the way I talk to girls?" in a seriously inquisitive tone. At this point I knew I had to try and articulate my thoughts and feelings. It's quite possible that this behavior has been acceptable in all of his realms of influence. Perhaps his family does it, his peers at school do it, the music he listens to promotes it, the TV and billboards also make it seem acceptable and maybe his teachers have never caught him or corrected him. So it's possible that he really didn't know what was wrong with it. So I said something like "Well, the comments you made were sexually insinuating and a lot of times women are treated like sex objects and not for the what they really have to offer." I'm not sure that was the best explanation. Maybe there were too many big words. But he didn't ask anymore questions after that and stopped making comments.

After this experience, I realized how the ability to articulate rules, morals and values is important to parenting (and other roles over children). A lot of times kids get confused by the rules, don't understand their boundaries, and get inconsistent discipline. These are a few reasons why they may act out. There's been a few times I've wanted to be critical of certain parenting styles. For example, when a parent yells at a baby for doing something it didn't know it shouldn't do. But in this moment, I realized how difficult parenting could be. It's not always easy to know how to explain to a kid why a rule is there or why certain boundaries exist. You just want them to do what you say and do it now. But nonetheless, I feel like articulating my thoughts and feelings about a particular rule or boundary is important. It's not only easier, but in fact desirable to follow a rule when you actually understand its purpose. And I'm hoping to not only instill in these youth rules, but values that they can also take ownership of.

When I've thought of the 'have's' and the 'have nots' I don't think I had "ability to articulate rules, boundaries, morals, and values" on the list. But I think this is yet another skill that not everyone has been taught, which can affect the decisions people make. Yeah, some people straight up sin knowing what they are doing is wrong. But others I think just don't know and it's one of my roles to figure out how to articulate certain things to them.

Pessimist, Optimist, or is it Hope?

I remember when I was in high school there was a sticker we had on a wall in our house that said "Optimist - Good Morning God! Pessimist - Good God, it's morning!" I always wanted to be more of an optimist and in those days when I began to discover God's role in my life more and more my optimism was boosted for a season. I remember one of my classmates wrote me a note one day saying "thanks for teaching me to always look at the bright side of things."

However, I wouldn't say that I'm much of an optimist today. I've noticed that I tend to see the negative side of situations often. I think the shift in my attitude can somewhat be attributed to confronting the injustices and realities of the world we live in. Yet, does this mean I should always choose to see these negatives? Is it okay that when I walk through Pasadena High School what I notice is all the kids ditching, talking about smokin', making out, and cussing each other out?

I feel like my roommate is a great example of an optimistic person. She knows how to see the good in any situation. I was really starting to get mad at myself for feeling like too much of a pessimist. But at the same time I felt like I was not keepin' it real if I was optimistic. I felt like I was pretending things were good when they were not.

Then my roommate told me what one of the other interns said to her. He said something to the effect of "I don't think Christians are called to be optimists nor pessimists. We are called to have hope." We are called to have hope..hmmm. Now that, I think I can accept. So it's not that I shouldn't see the ugliness and negativity of some situations nor that I shouldn't find the already existing positive within those situations, but instead, I should recognize the negatives and positives and have hope that change can happen. Hope that God can move, God can intervene, and justice can be administered.

“I’m a teenager I’m not supposed to be answering these questions!”

I got to join my co-leader of the high-school bible study as she took out one of the high school girls, Carlisha, for discipleship. Northwest Neighbors has a value of not only having a structured bible study for the kids to learn and discuss, but to also invest one-on-one in theirs lives. Carlisha has seemed to take a liking to me ever since I offered to give her a ride home one night. She seems to think my roommate and I are “cool”. She and her mentor, Karen, have invited me to join them on several occasions, but I’ve always had other plans. So I finally made it a point to meet with them.

After bible study that week I had asked Carlisha about the gangs in the neighborhood because I heard she was quite educated on them. She got excited to share about them with me as it’s a large part of her daily experience. She told me the names of the gangs, their boundaries, what colors they wear, how to know if they’ll shoot you or not, and so on. I asked her what percent of her friends were in gangs and she said 75%. Wow!! Carlisha herself isn’t in a gang and she has managed to gain respect from many gang members to the point that they won’t mess with her.

God has really put this young girl on my heart and I’m beginning to see how God could really use her. At one point when we were meeting with Carlisha she said “I’m not used to having people asking me how I’m doing. I’m used to always helping everyone else out.” We were trying to convince her that she can make a difference in society because she had trouble seeing that. She began to tell us how it is difficult for her because people come to her with some crazy situations. She gave us a couple examples: A Black girl is dating a Mexican and gets pregnant. Her mom hates Mexicans and her boyfriend’s dad hates Blacks. Does she have the baby knowing her mom will hate her or does she abort it? OR a girl has syphilis and gets pregnant, should she have the baby? Then Carlisha said “I’m a teenager I’m not supposed to be answering these questions.” All in all, it was a cool night. I feel like Carlisha is willing to learn, she just needs people to teach her. We were able to talk about privilege, global poverty, spending less to give more, enabling vs. empowering, catching someone a fish vs. teaching someone to fish, and how Carlisha can and is making a difference in people’s lives, in her school and in her neighborhood. To her she was just telling her gang bangin’ friends to go to class, but we helped her see that even though that seemed small, her friend being in class could save a life. I’m thankful God has allowed me to be a part of Carlisha’s life. I’m just asking God now, how do I equip and empower her to continue making a difference because her gang bangin’ friends aren’t going to be talking to me everyday and God has put her in this position for such a time as this. Now, to get her to see that!

Racism in a New Context

So I’ve studied race relations in school and I’ve had discussions and seminars on it through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, but it’s been interesting for me to talk about race relations through the lens of high school girls in my neighborhood. In school and through InterVarsity it was a matter of convincing us that we should not be color blind, racism still exists, culture is a beautiful creation of God and that it may take intentionality on our part to break through barriers and cross racial lines. My learning was more about being an advocate, using my privilege to help others, not stereotyping, and being intentional in making friends with other races.

But with the high school girls, the subject of racism is a whole other ball game. They do not question whether racism exists. They have lots of stories and experiences to share where they were the victim. They know that with each race there comes a culture that can not be ignored, they’re clashing all the time at school. However, one of the high school girls many questions is what’s the difference between wisdom and racism? If they’ve had experiences where a particular race is prone to commit a particular crime against their race, then is it straight up dumb for them to not be racist and then end up getting jacked for their stuff, beat up, or shot because they were trying to do the right thing. Of course, we continued to challenge them in not assuming that because one person of a particular race commits an offense against them, that everyone of that race is dangerous. But living in this neighborhood where there are gangs of different races, the streets are racially segregated, and violence happens between races, I am now challenged to wrestle with racism in a different way than I had before. The high school girls don’t want to wrongly assume someone is a criminal because of the way they look, but they want to know at what point do they cross the line of stupidity in which they’re not preventing a situation that could have been prevented if they had followed their assumption. The issue of racism is complicated by the realities of the neighborhood. And our challenge in bible study is to navigate these complicated issues and questions while standing on the Word of God no matter the context.

Going Green?

It’s a pretty funny story to all the people in California, but to my Texas folk maybe you’ll understand. This past summer I helped staff the Bay Area Urban Project (BAyUP) in California and the director of the project sent out an e-mail with some directions on it.

He said “BAyUP is going green this year, so each house bring you’re own plates to meal times.”

I read the sentence like 5 times and then had to call the director. “Josh, I’m a bit confused. So do you want us to bring green plates? Why do we need to bring colored plates? ”

Yeah, I know. All you California folk think that’s pretty funny. But until I’m came to California, I had no clue what going green meant. Josh, the director, chuckled and had grace enough to explain to me that going green is a phrase used to say being environmentally friendly and it had nothing to do with the color of the plates we bring to meal times. By bringing our own plates to meal times, we don’t create more trash with paper and plastic plates. It wasn’t until I actually came to California that I understood what the phrase meant because now I see it all over the place.

Texas is quite a ways behind in jumping on this band wagon. But I hear reusable shopping bags are catching on there. Well, the problem of consumption, creation of trash, and the impact all of these have on the environment and other people is quite complicated. So here is a link that takes this politically, economically, and sociologically complicated problem and puts it in simpler terms through illustrations and showing the big picture. It’s about 20 minutes long, but worth every minute. 20 minutes to explain a very complicated matter, that’s not bad. And here is a follow up link of ways to do something about the problem. I have found simplification of the problem to be helpful in these early stages of me trying to understand it. I hope it helps others out there in understanding it also.

What’s going on in Pasadena?

For those of you interested in the major problems Pasadena (where I live) is facing, here’s a link.

http://www.pasadenahope.org/communitysurvey.html I enjoyed the 13min video presentation.

Being a Bridge

In the summer of 2006 when I was in Manila, Philippines, I received a clear calling from God that I was to be a bridge. A bridge between races, cultures, economic classes, and so on. This calling was just a continuation of the ethnic identity journey I have been on. A few years back, my staff worker and mentor for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship helped me begin this journey of learning to embrace all of who I am ethnically. If I only embrace the white side of me, then I am denying the Latina side of me. And if I only embrace the Latina side of me, I deny the white side. So it’s not either/or it’s and/both. Being bi-racial and trying to embrace all of who I am can be a difficult task. I have to see the value, strengths, and weaknesses of both sides. Unless I’m around other bi-racial folk of my same make up, I really don’t fully fit it with either crowd.

There were many things I liked about Obama’s speech on “A More Perfect Union”, which you can listen to here. But I think what I really liked is seeing someone who is bi-racial trying to navigate the issue. I haven’t seen to many examples of people being a bridge especially through the nature of their birth. My roommate is quite aware of this and has advocated for us bi-racial folk in this way, but I don’t like when people refer to Obama as only black. He’s not just black. He’s not just white. He’s both. It’s difficult to live in that tension sometimes. But I’m glad God made me the way I am. I embody reconciliation. The task is in living it out daily. Being a bridge daily. And I’m thankful for others who help lead the way!