What you starin' at?

As a young kid I went to a majority black school. There were so many times that people snapped at me and said "What you starin' at?" I remember that it bothered me that they got such an attitude and yelled at me. Sometimes I'd say "You!" with some attitude in my defense. Then they'd say "You want me to do something about it?" And I'd hold my head down and whisper, "No.". I never wanted to fight or get in trouble. I honestly think that some of the black kids would dump all the negative experiences that they or their family had with whites on me.

Anyway, walking down the street in Mexico I've gotten many stares. They don't come off as very positive or inviting. I've heard that reaction I used to get as a child in my head "What you starin' at?" But this time it was me saying it. I've felt defensive and upset. On the one hand, I think I understand better the black students responses. I'm sure they got a lot of stares and yes, it's quite unsettling and annoying. On the other hand, I begin to get upset because I consistently feel misunderstood in life. I feel like I get boxed in a lot and I feel like people don't recognize the ethnic and cultural experiences I've had all my life that don't fit in the boxes that are put on "white" people. I'm know I'm guilty of doing the same to others at various points. It reminds me to check myself and my assumptions about people.

After debreifing with some other students that had more extreme experiences in Cairo, Egypt, the comment that stuck out to me the most is that we have to continually forgive and have mercy on others. It's usually ignorance and conditioning that creates those responses.